I’d like to offer a belated congratulations to flagrant misogynists everywhere on the unprecedented year they had in 2022. The swift dismantling of . The tragic death of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini in the custody of Iran’s morality police. The suffocation of women’s rights in Afghanistan following the Taliban’s return to power. The rise of alpha male mega-influencer and alleged sex trafficker Andrew Tate. The trauma-feeding frenzy of the defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. That vicious and weirdly personal op-ed Jeremy Clarkson wrote about Meghan Markle. Need I go on? Simply put, last year was a banner one for assholes and an objectively wretched one for women. And the forecast for this year is shaping up to be similarly bleak.
Take, for instance, CNN anchor Don Lemon’s February on-air fiasco during a conversation about 51-year-old Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley and her controversial suggestion that older politicians like President Biden should be required to undergo mental competency testing, Lemon shared an unsolicited, not-at-all-accurate “theory” on how women age.
“She says people, you know, politicians or something are not in their prime,” Lemon said. “Nikki Haley isn’t in her prime, sorry. A woman is considered to be in their prime in her 20s and 30s and maybe 40s.” Prime for what exactly? Childbearing? Political discourse? An extended stay at a luxury villa in the Maldives? The world may never know. When asked to elaborate, Lemon simply told his puzzled female cohosts to “google it.” “I’m just saying Nikki Haley should be careful about saying that politicians…need to be in their prime when they serve, because she would not be in her prime according to Google or whatever it is,” he added clunkily before allowing the moment to pass.
It’s worth noting that Lemon isn’t citing anything resembling fact—just archaic biological clock nonsense. But the moment continued to irk me (and, apparently, Oscar winner Michelle Yeoh) well after the initial backlash. Superficially, it sounds like a national news anchor demeaning a female politician. On a deeper level, though, it showcases the way society defaults to defending men—in this case, President Biden—against perceived threats to their leadership. (Haley isn’t totally innocent however. Republicans love to fuel the narrative that Biden is too senile to serve.)
Only a couple of days prior to Lemon’s televised mega flop, misogynists elbowed their way to the forefront of pop culture during Chelsea Handler’s weeklong stint guest-hosting The Daily Show. After airing a skit about the singular pleasures of being a childless woman, Handler drew the ire of conservative talking heads Tucker Carlson, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, and Jesse Kelly. During a segment for his nightly Fox News show, Carlson could barely conceal his glee as Kelly bemoaned the stupidity of “feminists” who choose to pursue careers instead of families.
“And soon you’re Chelsea Handler,” Kelly ranted. “Soon it’s Valentine’s Day and your womb resembles a dried-up tumbleweed blowing down an old Western town, and your Valentine’s Say date for the 10th year in a row is a 10-year-old copy of Magic Mike and a half-full bottle of Xanax, and you’re trying to pretend like you’re happy, but you’re not happy. And it’s actually not her fault. She’s been lied to by a country that has lost its way.”
Golf legend Tiger Woods went similarly viral last month for jokingly handing his opponent a tampon after outdriving him during the first round of the Genesis Invitational. Woods later apologized for the immature prank between friends, but the implication was clear. Even after having a daughter of his own, Woods still seems to think playing poorly and playing “like a girl” are synonymous. Hilarious! It’s a familiar and frustrating pattern. Online backlash flares, an underwhelming apology is issued, and short-lived consequences are doled out as a little treat—a cycle that provides enough catharsis to appease the public without having to promise meaningful change or long-term accountability.
Lemon underwent sensitivity training and a brief apology tour, then returned to the network less than a week later. Woods delivered a quick mea culpa for his boyish joke between friends, then promptly moved on. Handler ultimately got the final word, but the “social forcefield” of misogyny makes sure men are protected even (and especially) from their own wrongdoing.
Allegations of sexism tend to be met first with horror and bewilderment, followed by reflexive declarations of love and respect for women. Even the prolific misogynist Andrew Tate occasionally claimed to be a feminist by virtue of having helped women make money. More broadly, in a survey of 34 countries, the vast majority of participants agreed that gender equality is important. We’re living in a world where the push for parity has been a largely successful project, but misogyny is insidious. It’s simply become trickier to tease apart and talk about because the girl-dad golfers proudly showcasing their daughters’ achievements one day are making period jokes at women’s collective expense the next. The same gap between belief and behavior makes it difficult to square Don Lemon’s on-air remarks with his subsequent apology, citing the reverence he feels for the “countless women” in his life who prove that “a woman’s age doesn’t define her either personally or professionally.”
The issue is that age sadly does define women personally and professionally. Following Madonna’s moving speech about the power of rebellion at the 2023 Grammys, Twitter flooded with sexist commentary about her face and plastic surgery procedures. “Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in,” she wrote on Instagram. “A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45 and feels the need to punish her if she continues to be strong-willed, hard-working, and adventurous.” Selena Gomez was forced to go live on TikTok and publicly address the relentless chatter about her weight fluctuations. “I tend to hold a lot of water weight and that happens very normally, and then when I’m off it, I tend to kind of lose weight,” she explained in reference to the medication she takes for the autoimmune disease lupus. The Ozempic craze adds an even more worrying backdrop to headlines heralding the return of heroin chic and the backsliding of inclusive casting on the fall 2023 runways. We killed the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show only to watch it come back four years later.
It would be wrong to say misogyny is having a renaissance, because we never eradicated it in the first place. Misogyny isn’t just a psychological issue that lurks in the hearts and minds of bad men. It’s a system in which nearly everyone is culpable, consciously or unconsciously, and it’s felt in everything from seemingly harmless celebrity feuds that reliably pit women and fandoms against each other (and inevitably become a conversation about looks, bodies, and who got or lost the guy) to more alarming examples like those showcased by Tate and Carlson.
Too often, the thankless job of calling out misogyny is left to the victims who are hurt most by it. Respond too loudly or emotionally and you’ll probably be dismissed as shrill. Do it too frequently and you’ll be labeled an alarmist. Harp too much on a certain issue or incident and you’ll be told to channel your energy toward worthier causes. In truth, there is no hierarchy of misogyny—benign or blatant, big or small, public or private, online or offline, explicit or implied. All of it matters, and all of it warrants outrage.
Hanna Lustig is Glamour’s staff writer.
