Shawn Mendes’ Smoothie Squad Scares Me

I do not know a single Shawn Mendes song but thanks to an instantly iconic image that just dropped, I can tell you this: The dude rolls deep to the organic smoothie store.

On Thursday, my social media feeds began teeming with photos of a certain Canadian pop star and what Twitter has dubbed his “Smoothie Squad”: a group of three, nearly indistinguishable Millennials dressed in the exact sort of get-up you’d expect from a pack of Los Angeleans who consider sipping probiotic slush a group activity.

Apparently, the foursome obtained said slush during a run to Detox Market, a small chain of “clean beauty” stores.

Mendes, in a white tank top, cuffed boyfriend jeans, and platform slides, is clearly the Smoothie Squad’s ringleader. To his left is the most perplexing figure of the group, barefoot and dressed in low-rise chef’s pants. What appears to be a leather-bound book is wedged under his arm.

To Mendes’ right are two virtually identical, curly-haired folks, bespectacled in shades. Both are wearing shoes (Converse and Nikes, to be exact).

While some netizens are gushing over the Smoothie Squad, asking where they can apply to join the green juice-fueled clique, I am personally terrified by the foursome. They look like they are on their way to bully me for using parabens.

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